Hideout

It was one of the sweet sisterly moments shared in KL..

Lazing in hotel bed with bodies piling over each other, watching the interesting Discovery Channel, while Gerald reading out loud a love quiz from the Sisters magazine which he proudly stole from a Coffee outlet (he has the unique hobby of reading female magazines).

" You are watching a drama serial about never-ending love relationship. What will be your ideal ending?"

Gave my answer without much hesitation: "C - The male lead died in the end."

Gerald gave me a devious look after a quick scan at the quiz results.

"You have a negative outlook of love, not believing in happy ever after ending. Most likely you have been wounded deeply before, which caused the lack of trust in love anymore. By wanting the ending to be tragic, you sub-consciously wish for the suffering of the female lead.. just like you have."

I was nodding my head away, frowning at the same time. Damned... It was so true. I have became such a pathetic, sore loser after that break-up with Jimmy?

The truth is- I couldn't bring myself to get committed in a relationship anymore, not like in the past. I don't see the bright future that SHOULD have come with the ideal Relationship package- complete with 2 years of laughter and joy, an eternity life of "Come, let's share our woes" and 1 year warranty.

One by one, I watched my beloved friends getting married with the seemly most perfect guys for them.
Envy
Not cos of their new-found social status nor their legalized companionship. But the fact that they could get over the heartbreaks, moved on with life and not losing the ability to trust a man with their happiness again.

All I can see in my love life are sex, lies and videotapes....

Oops.. Sorry
I meant insecurity, hesitation and cautious treading on a thin ice of trust.

I could have loved someone with all my little heart and also fiercely protecting the possession of remaining sanity now.

I preserve my pride and sanity with nonchalant yet deep down inside, there's stormy waves of chaos and riots that kept crashing down, hard. I have chosen to ignore Jimmy's existence for over 1 year; the sufferer was only me.

Like an ill-trend, those who inflicted pain on me- avoidance is the only way I knew of, to deal with it all. It is definitely not a wise move. I know. Like I mentioned earlier, the one and only sufferer is me.

With this mentality, I couldn't bear to meet up with the group of common friends that I shared with the 'offender' anymore, all in the name of avoidance... Immature huh?

I tried to correct this silly thinking of mine by sending a birthday message to Jimmy a couple of weeks ago.
He was overly delighted... Replying that it was the best present he have received so far.

Void
I felt nothing. There was no urge to meet up as suggested by him- neither did it make me feel better or relieved.

Maybe, avoidance does help. It lets you forget the old pain and nurses the grudges~ slowly. Maybe we can get by just like this ~ Or maybe only I can....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
For some strange reasons, I am freaking busy despite being jobless. Pretty much tied up with stuff.... moving house, helping my parents out with their business, organizing for Xmas partieS and attempting to slot in time to plan my grand business proposal, which got people so excited over (Shit.. Now there's an expectation to be meet now).
The bad timing is getting on my nerves and at times, I wished I can just disappeared into still air, surfacing only when it is time for dinner...

Currently, I have sentenced myself to isolation.
And I ask for your forgiveness and patience with the hermity me for the time being.

You need a blue sky Holiday

With Gerald and Ethan on this trip to KL, what possibly could have went wrong on this simple little vacation?



Everything






Let’s not talk about how I have to save Gerald from white shark’s deadly jaws…



And the time when towering books that came crashing down and buried the guys deep

And Ash to come to the rescue again, with her trusty spade and a loyal, sniffing dog…


It was truly embarrassing when Ethan was caught stealing from an old lady whom I just befriended on the streets…


And horny Gerald tried to take advantage of her when no one was looking….

What can I possibly say when people asked where we were from?Erm... I don't know them

To punish the guys for bad behavior, Lord of Bad Luck sentenced them to have dinner at this restaurant.

Look clean and good from outside… but it was in fact, a black shop along Jalan Bukit Bintang…
Extorting prices with food portions dished out sufficient only for mice’s consumption. Service worse than a toliet attendant.

Ethan and Gerald were pretty displeased about all, soon became aggressive and very much determined to take back the small change that was conveniently forgotten to return to us… (And it took 20 minutes of haggling and arguing to have our change)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Over at Genting Highlands, we visited the amazing world of Ripley….(Ps: Don't bother going for the Haunted Adventure) The Ripley's Museum was truly enticing but it was such an extensive exhibition which took us over 3 hours to finish the tour.
We rested on the World's tallest man’s chair , like Goldilock on Papa Bear's chair..

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Clubbing night in KL…
3 vainpots were dressed up with zest plus a twinge of meticulous care, leaving the hotel room in thick fumes of FCUK and GUESS scents.
Finally, I have the chance to visit the club, Rum Jungle with much anticipation…. But it turned out to be a huge disappointment. The crowd was too old and ambience near-to sleazy. I almost fought with a scantily dressed auntie for a toilet cubicle. She merely dashed into an empty cubicle, ignoring the queue. I tried to pull her back but she was too quick for me. Feel like kicking her door down but managed to refrain from doing so as I remembered I was in Malaysia…. Can’t summon my Ah Lian gang from Singapore down in time….

We left the Old Citizen Club and headed to Zouk.

There again, we had a culture shock.. Most of the clubbers were Malays and they were sure, a mean dancer. The dance floor was bloody packed and everyone only have a cube of space to dance. Swayed a little to my left….. a little to your right. But a couple of Malays were so worked up in dancing~as if they were praticing for a die-hard chance to be featured in Madonna’s Hung Up music video… they seemed to be exploding into an earthbreaking breakdance performance at any moment…. I ganna elbowed and slapped by those snaking hands a few times… Decided to steer clear of the danger zone.. But turned out there was another lunatic on my left too… sigh… Sandwiched in the doom of suffering.

And strangely, the clubbers there seemed to enjoy having their neighbors’ sweat smeared over their bodies… Giving a sample tasting of their oily hair to the clubbers behind them (How does that taste, Ethan?)

Well, to be fair, the three of us did some pretty abnormal things too.
a) I guess for 1st time in the KL Zouk history… I am the 1st woman to stuff balls of tissue into my ears to prevent deafness.

b) Gerald gave fake enthusiastic high-fives to the guys up on the front podium which
was in front of the DJ console..
These people were totally irritable to look at. Having a “Oh.. Come and worship me” performance up there... prompting the clubbers below to clap, swing their arms and the Robbie William’s concert wild calls~ “I want to hear you…. Screammm!”
Their make-believe play were only made seemly convincing with the Guest DJ, Armin Van Burren, spinning music right behind them…. The crowd was reaching out for him... not the fakers (you suckers!!)
By the way, the clubbers were going crazy over him… (I mean total craziness) --------->
Ps: I have to stifle a few yawns while dancing.. That’s what my rating for his internationally acclaimed spinning

c) Ethan DID NOT DRINK MUCH that night. Muahahaha.. (All thanks to stinginess of liquor in the drinks..)

As usual, fights and riots broke out after the end of party…. A heavy metal bolt rolled passed me.. We were wondering where that came from.. All were revealed when we were out onto the main pavement outside Zouk. There was a small gang of Chinese hurling strings of abuse at no one in particular…
Quite a comical sight when one of the scrawny guys threw a metal piece into the Zouk’s compound, shouted vulgarity and turned to go into his friend’s car…
Then, the photo-worthy moment…. His expression of obvious panic and fear on his face when the car started to move off without him…

After such an unrewarding night, Gerald decided to console himself with late night supper... Room Service please!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Boy, I couldn’t really recall when was the last time I have such ball of the time.. We played like a bunch of rowdy children, ate like pigs and spent money like no one business (despite the fact I am JOBLESS…Kudos to the guys as they have been generously subsidizing some of the expenses for me)

I laughed so much and hard that I seriously suspected that I have a much-toned ads beneath the fresh layers of fat that were accumulated throughout this Gluttony trip.
Back in Singapore…. I was feeling kinda moody. Am so used to see the guys’ unsightly sleeping postures with mouths wide open, the cheeky and mad bantering and routine morning pillow fights for the past 4 days.
Surprisingly, I was the laziest of them all~ always wanting to be the last to wake up. But resorting to methods of legs kicking and bodies crushing down on me, just to get me out of the bed every morning… were pretty cruel and totally unnecessary.....

Sigh.... I wish that we would be back on the traveling road soon.

Next stop… Taiwan?

The line between Deceit and Truth

A lazy afternoon.
Spent 10 minutes walking to the Chinese Garden MRT station, slightly panting (well, I always make a point to brisk walk). Cool winter wind caressed my face and the mighty short, new hairstyle of mine, which have received no compliment to date.
ONLY to realize that I have left my wallet at home. Darn it….
Called my bro to bring it down to the nearest bus stop. Disgruntled with careless self, backtracked to my estate, waiting for Bro’s rescue.

An old man with unkempt hair and long whiskers approached me.
“I do not have enough shillings to take bus. Do you have fifty cents to spare?
“Uncle, sorry. I don’t.” I smiled awkwardly. He looked straight into my eyes, as if he is trying to determine if I am lying.
“I really do not have any money on me. In fact, I left my wallet at home and my family sending it down to me!”
Doubtful stare
“How much do you need, uncle?”
“Erm… $1.50..”
“WHAT? $1.50?!”
Is this harmless looking old man trying to con me….? The bus stop we were at, you can only board buses that terminated at the Jurong East Interchange- that cost 90cents at most.
“I am sorry. Really no money with me now. Please ask someone else.”

He shifted uncomfortably on his seat, giving the fellow bus stoppers a quick scan. I left the bus stop and called back home to check the whereabouts of Bro. Mom picked up phone and reported that Bro was already outside… and out of nowhere, she commented as a matter of fact:
“Your hair is very ugly leh… why you cut until like that?”
-_-“ Thanks mom…

Well folks, you know that it is such a common scenario relating to the above narration that we face every now and then. (No, dumbo. I am not referring to a bad haircut…)

Trust.
In complete stranger.
Should you?

It was past 1am. Just finished with a guilt-stricken heavy supper with my colleagues at Geylang and was on my way back in a cab.
I was coughing badly and taxi uncle offered me a sweet to soothe my throat. I declined with the resounding advice in my head:
Never talk to strangers. Never accept sweets from strangers
He was rather persistent. Kept promoting the bag of sweets he had. Mints, chocolate or fruity flavors?
After much dithering, I took one that looked least dangerous… (No tiny holes poked in its not-crumpled-at-all wrapper). While sucking the sweet slowly, my mind was busy devising means of escape- should I feel dizzy at any point of time…
Turned out that the taxi uncle was the Good Man- he has taken time to watch over me, ensuring I got into my flat’s lift safely before moving off.

How many times that we took kindness as malice and lies as the truth?
Countless of times

During the Uberduperians’ Bangkok trip early this year, Ben and I took a Tuk tuk to venture into Patpong, leaving the girls at the entertaining world of the Thai transvestites. The driver was a chatty Thai whom launched into the identity as our local guide almost instantly, telling us where to visit and eat in Bangkok.
Should have suspected something amiss when he said that Patpong was ‘bery’ near to the Central but his friendliness overlaid the suspiciousness that arose.
To our horror, he led us into a dark alley, parked in front of sinister-looking pub- one of the few shops that was opened.
“Here. This is Patpong 1. One of the best pub in Bangkok!”
Ben and I squirmed in our seats uneasily, scrutinizing the dark surroundings. Where the hell were we? Wasn’t Patpong a lively nightlife district?
“Oh. Still early. Bars and Pubs not so early open.” The liar explained in a straight face. Early? It was already 9 plus!

We started to walk down the alley, telling him that we will like to explore the district first before settling into a pub. He panicked and started to trail after us, taunting us to visit the pub. We declined and continued walking.

The guts he had. Offered to drive us to Patpong 2 (according to him, was ‘bery’ far from here) at a discounted rate. I was disgusted as I recalled vividly that Wenting advised that Patpong 1 to 3 were closely linked.In the end, he gave up, leaving us in an unknown deserted place with a cheery goodbye wave and an unhappy piece of memory etched in our holiday.

I find it sad that we could never completely trust a fellow human being- be it a stranger or a friend. Their motivations to lie and deceive can be complicated and wicked yet valid, necessary and substantial to themselves.

It is tiring to be always on guard against someone or speculating the level of truthfulness in that person before making a decision - only to find that, after much careful consideration before lunging into a mindset of trust, your fiancé ran away with your best friend, your business partner absconded with your money and the Meepok uncle sold you stale fish balls that caused 1 week hospitalization of food poisoning.

It is sure a far-fetched wish of mine to be living in a world of only truths prevails because in reality, we couldn’t have survived without lies now. People lie to spare hurting someone’s feelings. Lie to get one out of tricky situations. Lie blatantly to attain personal goals or sales results- “Oh Miss, you look fabulous in that dress!” where she looks like a hippo in a tiny swimming trunk.

Lies- is it really a sinful act at all- where the blunt truth can bring more devastating damages than a beautiful lie (Oh Ash, you look fat with that new haircut…)? Where a conman can feed his starving family with his deceit?

Could we ever draw a line on this? I doubt so.




Having said so....
Guys, do I really look that bad in this new hair cut???