Create Your Own!

Do you know You?

Seriously. Do you?

I am helpless here. Everyone said of course. I told myself, many times- that I knew better. But that wisp of confidence has made its U-turn, left me high and dry, hoping to catch a glimpse of certainty again.

Now everyone seemed to understand me better than myself. I could trust my judgement- no more. It is frightening. And so sickening. I can’t stand the Silence berating me like a child.

Stop it. I don’t want to think. Don’t want to reflect. Don’t want to keep seeking answers in places that I don’t even know how to go there.

Maybe I should take the chance to tell you what I truly want.

Wait a minute. Let me search deep. I might get an insight or two.

Or None.

Crashed and blessed

I slept through it... a long deep, sound sleep. Only to be woken by a concerned phone call.

Caught Oprah’s show with my breakfast cum lunch and found that the topic of the day coincided weirdly with my state of mind: ‘How to deal with feelings caused by trauma’

It is said that when you are not in tuned with your feelings after a terrible happening, obsessive habits like over-eating or over-spending might developed, in an attempt to soothe yourself. And the cure is to connect with your deepest inner feelings and recognise it... starting with the magic words of ‘I feel…’

Here am I .. giving it a go.. Before I became obsessed with sleep.

I feel guilty for causing the car accident which has created a domino effect of damages and consequences that followed.

I feel sickening awful for putting Roomie through such ordeal. For causing her headaches and the inconveniences.

I feel damn angry with myself. For all that have happened.

I feel worried. The impact of the crash has hurt my back, which worsened the next day. Can feel the pain spreading slowly to my neck and lower spine. Will it affect me in future?

But….
I also feel blessed that this accident has taught me a lesson with no claim of life or bodily harm to others. The damages caused, hopefully, can be solved with money.

I feel fortunate to know that in times of needs, there are people who truly care and support me- even it means extending their hard-earned savings out to help.

Phews…

Well, I guess this little exercise does helps. Now I have faced the reality, I should be able to go through it- head-on. Although it did not erase the torturing replays of the accident in my mind, I have recognised that it had happened and that, it could not be undone.

But really, I should be counting the blessings as worse consequences that might have occurred.
And again, I feel truly thankful that Roomie is fine. If not, I will be stricken with guilt for the rest of my life.

Sanya Fever

Spent almost 3 weeks in Sanya for a Kick-off event in early Jan 2007.

Sanya City

It is an increasingly popular beach retreat, a couple few hours away from the city of Hainan, Haikou. It is not really a destination of choice for a personal holiday but I will love to visit friends I made during this working trip.

Sheraton Resort

Especially~ the staff at Sheraton Resort.... They made me felt like right at home there. The rapport given by the hotel staff was amazing and they never failed to make sure that I have my meals and rest. Once, the front desk manager noticed that I did not have any bite since morning, and took the initiative to order room service for me... and it was on the house~! There were other instances where I was all alone and needed help, they were the ones that tried their best to assist.

Hmm... Come to think about it, they were one of the most terrific hotel teams I have ever worked with.

Here are some capture of Imagine crew behind the scenes... (regrettably, there wasn't any pictures of the delightful hotel staff)

Girl POwers~ Ash as The Logistics Manager; Shah as The Producer

At Coffee Lovers Cafe

From Left: David F (Teambuilding), Raymond (IT), Shah (Producer), David T (Exec. Producer), Ash (Logistic), Muhd (Sound) and Alvin(Lighting and Staging)

Behind the little black box~ The Console

From left, clockwise: Ken T (Sound), Boyd (Lighting), Raymond (IT), Ken L (Video) and Dave (IT)

The Imported Entertainers

David T with Band, Jive Talking and Emcee, Venetta Lopez

P.s: Jive Talking totally sensational and Ven..? One of the best Emcees I have worked with

Work in Progress...

And monkeying around for a breather~

Sanya Fever continues...

Life behind the Black Box.. seemed so... good~ Food, Drinks, Smoke~


The Boss... the biggest baby of all~


Event success celebration with 3 Champagne PoP!!


And a deadly Thank you hug from Boss...


Crew Photo
Some of the crew that I have not mentioned earlier:
Geok Choo and Raffles (Video), Jim (DJ), William (Event helper), Holli, Ah Lan & Aileen (BBTS, local operator)

Smashing Team~!

Cos...

Did a color personality quiz this afternoon; it depicted my love life as:
According to Luscher's theories, this indicates that you're holding back from having deep attachments. While sex brings you physical satisfaction, you're more emotionally withdrawn with your partners.

And I just had a heart-to-heart chat with Roomie- telling her all about that bittersweet summer romance. * Thanks, babe. I feel better now...

It amazed me how the ‘usually strong and independent’ women like us can get teary and feel so helpless once we are back at Gold Coast. I was seriously contemplating to buy a one way ticket back to Singapore- for a brief, heavy moment. This time, homesickness got me real bad- surprisingly worse than the first time.

Perhaps, just like what Roomie analyzed, I was very much pampered by the loving attention and thoughtful care given by him so much- that his absence was sorely felt now.

I am at a loss. Losing grip of understanding what the hell I am feeling and thinking now. Acceptance or not- seemed like two dead ends to me. They no longer provide a solution- they churned out problems and complicated the matter further instead.

Decided to put my good old faith on Time to solve this for me, although it has been taking its damn sweet pace to torment me with memories and loads of ‘what if’.

Time, do hasten… before Selfishness chases Empathy and Self-respect away and rules over my heart.

Sweet Escape