In less than 31 hours

In less than 31 hours, the World, together with its inhabitants will aged another 1 freaking year.
This is my last chance to have a blog entry in 2006.
Perhaps this is the perfect time to recapitulate this amazing journey of the Year.

So, here we go.

I guess one of the gains that I am most thankful for is getting the chance to work in Imagine Singapore and getting to know the lovely colleagues over there. The impact on me was pretty significant- it changed my outlook on work, life and people. It was almost dreamlike and perfect. I have to stop myself from immersing recklessly in the bliss- cos I was so afraid that the dream will burst and left me wrecked like the previous company did.

The move to Australia was another occurrence that I yet to rate it good or bad. Sure enough, it was such a new experience, which I guess I will not live to regret it. Wenting made it so easy for me, I felt like a helpless baby in her care. Wonder at times who is the older one…
And I am different now- as some of the folks back in Singapore have announced. Imagine found Ash so much bloody noisier and how she likes to poke her nose in everyone’s business now. Like I always tell them- ‘I care for you mah…’ Heeee…

Friends found me wilder and almost crazy… and well, family complained that they get to talk to me more when I m in Australia than now. But I feel like my old self. Nothing changes. Perhaps a few pounds more ~according to the great ‘compliments’ from Ethan and Gerard.

There have been a few emotional tugs that I wished that I didn’t have to do anything about it. Maybe someone was right about me being a selfish being. Caring about the ‘Now’ moments and self-contentment, disregarding others’ feelings. My stubbornness.
Seriously, I didn’t mean any of that to happen. Somehow, I just find it hard to throw myself in relationship where we all know that with the geographic distance between us- it is going to be a nightmare.
Phrases like ‘Go as it flows’ and ‘Enjoy life while you can’ appeal greatly to me- being tied down on something as heavy as THE Commitment scared me. Guess I will never be good at handling affairs of the hearts. And I could no longer throw myself wholeheartedly into someone ever since god knows when….

On a happier note, Mr Happy, Benjamin Tan got married recently. Such a beautiful solemnization ceremony- in front of the sparkling sea and romantic sunset over the rosy sky. Can feel my goosebumps as they said the sacred 2 words.
My guardian angel, Hweelim gonna exchanged vows too, in my place of birth~! Was thrilled that I am able to attend their weddings. Now, keeping fingers crossed for MR MELVYN NONIS’S WEDDING.

To Melvyn:
So… You claimed you have been reading my blog… Ya right… A caveman like you… this must be quite an outstanding feat for you.
Nevertheless, I’m waiting for that spectacular wedding of yours- impatiently. Make sure that it is happening when I am around~!

Gonna be in Clarke Quay to help Mich with the Countdown party tomorrow. Do come down and party hard- with me!!

P.s: I’m sorry if I couldn’t meet up or talk much with you guys on MSN recently. I’ll be free only after 20 Jan…. and yah!! I am all yours then~! =)

Summer Break

Hello there~!

I am Back.. in Singapore… at Home…to Blog~!

Ya.. ya.. I know that I once said tearfully- that I will not come back only till next year… But opportunity knocked on my door and presents a complimentary return ticket plus a job….

Why not?! I miss home so so much!!!

Gosh.. Been running on a hectic schedule the moment I touched down. Right after 1 day of rest, I was whisked off to Sanya, China for site inspection. And to Phuket, Thailand for the long-planned Trio trip. As expected, we have great fun and a whopping 700 photos taken…. Will post it up soon~!

Work has been great…. Just feel so comfortable back in Imagine. That bunch of crazy people. It’s amazing how much laughter we can have at a workplace... but when it comes to work, everyone is damn serious and professional. I love just everything about Imagine… Could kiss Shah a hundred times for bringing me in this smashing world…

Trying to manage between work and meeting with friends too. I seriously in need of 2 days of fitful sleep… Now Hweelim is haunting me with her wedding planning… think I need 1 more Ashley….

Nevertheless, weeeeeeeee….. I am having time of my life~!

What if...

Perhaps it is the dull routine of study week. My mind seemed to wander more aimlessly than ever.

Was pondering over Life… My life in exact.

When I made a casual remark to Vinz over Msn that Ashley is born in Mezza9, Grand Hyatt, it didn’t hit me till now- that how significantly precise this statement is.

Hello. My name is Qiaohui.

And I have magically transformed into an Ashley, when my working life began at Mezza9.

Hey there, beautiful. I’m Ashley.

I gave myself this name cos I just like the ring of it and people can get the hand of it pretty fast. But never would I have predicted that a totally different life will just build up and change- with the birth of a name.

Should you meet Qiaohui on the streets 8 years ago; you will be greeted by a mild-mannered, shy and quiet girl- who looked too old for her age.

Now?

My friends couldn’t get me to shut up and I hate the fact that I look too young for my age. Loads of career disadvantages. Haiz…

Being in a service industry changed me dramatically, and slowly, I lost grasp of that girl that I once knew. Ashley is overshadowing Qiaohui each and every day. Not just because 2/3 of the people in her life are only acquainted with Ashley but the new perspectives of life, the acquired knowledge and stubborn determination have already replaced her past.

Well, Qiaohui used to have huge bunch of loving girlfriends. She used to think love is holy and Sex is sacred. Men are supposed to provide for families. The World was small and boring but kind. Singapore was all she ever wants to be in, for her entire life.

As Ashley progressed in her career and life, making life-changing choices with all the little courage she possessed, the safe World that Qiaohui has constructed was slowly trodden, eventually gave way to the new complicated and wild Ashley World.

Her friends are more of the masculine side. Love and sex do not need to come together, neither in ranking of importance. Women should be self-sustained and the World can be cruel yet at the same time, dangerously stimulating and exciting. And she recently diagnosed herself with commitment phobia.

I often wondered what Qiaohui will be doing now, if she did not step into Mezza9. Perhaps she will be saner and less perverse than Ashley. Maybe she is a mum to three. Maybe she already made splashes of success and wowed millions.

What if…

Is there really a bad or good choice that we make for our Life? How will a choice be classified as the Bad One? When it led you to an uncomfortable situation or when you don’t seem to gain anything out of it?

When I traced back the choices I made so far, I realized that I could hardly determine whether they were Bad or Good. A choice made, led to a consequence. Be it an ideal or a devastating one, you learnt from it. And you enhanced or improvised the consequence. Then... it leads to more choices to be made, more paths to be undertaken. We are in a cycle where it never stops.

This is quite assuring isn’t it? To know that no matter what choices we made, regardless of the consequences, we do gain from it. Cos the doors are never closed. And the road never ends. You can either persist to find a way out or let yourself drown in the sea of self-pity.

I find it mighty interesting to see how life unravel before your eyes, with every choice you make. The tangy twist of fate will just take it from here… and roll out the most spectacular movie of your life.

Outraged

This is my first time writing an email to the School Dean- but not in praise of the School but in contempt of the Administrative officer .

I am so F***ing pissed.

----------------------------------
Dear Dr XXX,

I will like to seek your urgent attention and help on this matter.

I am Ashley Ko (Sxxxxxxx), student of degree program 1290HSL, majoring in Tourism Management.

Before the commencement of my first year semester 2006, I wrote an email to appeal for exemption of subject ‘Introduction to Tourism Management- 1202HSL’, based on the completion of Diploma in Tourism Management from Temasek Polytechnic in Singapore.

It was rejected. I have no choice but to take on the subject.

During the recent enrollment for Semester 1, 2007, it was brought up to my attention that my polymates who have the same Diploma qualification, were exempted from this subject, right from the beginning- without going through any appeals.

We graduated in a same cohort and academic year and the most ironical part was- they have enrolled themselves in the University as students majoring in Hospitality Management- where I, in Tourism Management major, was not granted exemption from ‘Introduction to Tourism Management- 1202HSL’.

I seek your understanding of my reaction to this matter. Disappointed, unjustified and angry. With an exemption of this fundamental subject, I can enroll myself in a subject that can further enhance my learning processes in Tourism Management. Instead, precious time and money have been thrown into a subject that I need not to take at all, in the first place.

Yesterday, I wrote to the Credit Transfer department for an investigation and fair compensation. To my greatest dismay, they decided to cover their mishandling of this case by giving me the exemption of the subject NOW with a refund. They told me I need not sit for the exam and I will not be graded for this subject anymore.

This is not a FAIR compensation. They cannot simply just dismiss the time and efforts I have put on this subject. So far, I have scored a Distinction for the coursework- this should underlie how much work I have put into this subject.

This is downright insensitive and uncaring rectification they have taken to make ‘things right again’, and it was done without consulting me. They could have rectify the problem by honoring the fact I am already completing the subject and :
1) Give an exemption of 10 credit units for an elective subject.
OR
2) Give a refund without taking away the 10 credit units I have deserved.

Yet they have taken an action that undermines a student’s time, efforts and dignity.

Below, is all the email communication I have with the officer. I urgently seek your help in this matter. I am contactable at xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

With regards,
Ashley Ko

Memories that can't be any better than these...

Hey there,
You.
Who have been reading my blog~
For some reasons, the Tagboard no longer in proper functioning, thus I have allowed anonymous comments per posting... {Click on Take it from here}
This is also largely due to the comments on my previous posts I have received via SMSes and the complaints that they don’t have a Blogspot account to enter their says...

Sooo... Here we are. Anyone and Everyone can post their comments on my Blog, however, you will need to do a little ABC test first- to prove that... indeed you are a human.
- - - - - - - - - - -

This is an email sent to me, which I find it a must to share and reminisce with you guys. Thus I have discarded my golden rule of ‘No recycling material on thy Blog’. Here it goes:

Fond memories for those who were born in Singapore during the 70s and 80s~

1. You grew up watching He-man, MASK, Transformers, Silver Hawk and Mickey Mouse. Not to forget Ninja Turtles, My Little Pony and Smurfs too..
Ash: And not forgetting Captain Planet!!!
‘Wind! Fire! Water! Earth! Wind! Heart! With your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!!!’

Oh Oh! And Care bears~
‘Care Bears... SHINE!!’

2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school during recess time. You will squat by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brush your teeth with a coloured mug.The teachers said you must brush each side 10 times too.
Ash: Yeah man.... I remembered vividly that in my mind~ synchronised brushing teeth ritual.
‘Left, upper row now. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.... 10! Now move a bit to the right. Again... 1, 2,3....’

3. You know what SBC stands for.

4. You pay 40 cents for Chocolate or Strawberry MILK every week in class.
Ash: I always went for the Chocolate flavour, downed it in less than 1 minute and ran to the school bus for home. And got sick in the stomach. Bus auntie came well-prepared with a plastic bag for me...

5. You watch a very popular Malay dubbed Japanese drama on RTM1 about schoolgirls who possess powerful skills in volleyball called Meoro Attack.

6. You find your friends with pagers and handphone cool in Secondary school.
Ash: So were those with Branded paperbags and Sonia Rykel... Hmm..

7. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned. The bus seats are made of wood and the cushion is red. The big red bell gives a loud BEEP! when pressed..
Ash: Once, there was this guy who kept pressing the bell continously till the bus driver got fed-up and drove past 4 bus stops,without stopping. All passengers and schoolkids turned white in the face... anxiously estimating the distance and time needed to walk back to their stops....

8. There are colourful tickets forTIBS buses. The conductor will check for tickets by using a machine which punches a hole in the ticket.
Ash: YA! Love that. Love that!! Always like to observe the bus conductors clipping the tickets away. Actually, it inspired me to be a bus conductor, so I can use that puncher and clip those colourful tickets.

9. Envelopes given to us to donate to Sharity Elephant every Children's Day.
Ash: Do they still have that?

10. You've probably read Young Generation magazine.You know who's Vinny the little vampire and Acai the constable.

11. You were there when they first introduced MRT here. You went for the first ride with your parents and you would kneel on the seat to see the scenery.

12. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50. 12. Gals are fascinated by Strawberry Short Cake and Barbie Dolls.
Ash: NOT ME

13. You learn to laugh like The Count in Sesame Street.

14. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka (20 cents per pack), and Ding Dang (50 cents per box), that had a toy in it and it changes every week. Not forgetting the 15 cents animal crackers and the ring pop, where the lollipop is the diamond on the ring.
Ash: When I was 9, my mum used to buy a huge bag of biscuits for me and sister to bring to school for snack time. I thought of this business idea- to sell them to the schoolkids~ 10cents per piece. It was a great success- but to a short period. Mom got suspicious of the increasingly heavy purse of mine... and closed my Mamashop business by giving me only 2 biscuits per day....

15. You watched TV2 (also known as Channel 10) cartoons because Channel 5 never had enough cartoons for you.

16. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three Investigators, Famous Five and Secret Seven are probably the thickest story books you ever thought you have read. Even Sweet Valley High and Malory Towers .
Ash: Oh please... My ‘Magic Faraway Tree’ was as thick as the thickest dictionary...

17. KFC used to be a high class restaurant that serve food in plates and let you use metal forks and knives.

18. The most vulgar thing you said was asshole and idiot and THE MOST EXTREME WAS 'super white'... you just couldn't bring yourself to say the hokkien relative.
Ash: Erm.. My most lethal abusive language in Primary school~ ‘GO AND DIE LAH!!’

19. Catching was the IN thing and twist as the magic word.
Ash: So was Blind Cat... Awww.. Had loads of fun playing Blind Cat chasing Mouse in class chalets...

20. Your English workbooks was made of some damn poor quality paper that was smooth and yellow.

21. CDIS were your best friend.

22. The only computer lessons in school involved funny pixellised characters in 16 colours walking about trying to teach you maths.

23. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck and a must everywhere you go.

24. Boys loved to play soccer with small plastic balls in the basketball court.

25. Teng-teng, five stones, chapteh, hentam bola and zero point were all the rage with the girls and boys too...
Ash: I was a champion at most of them~! (But could no longer jump higher than shoulder level for the Zero point now....)

26. Science was fun with the balsam and the angsana being the most important plants of our lives, guppies and swordtail being the most important fish.
Ash: And I have thought guppies were the most beautiful fish in the whole wide world...

27. Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and John, eternalized in our minds from the textbooks. Even Mr Wally & Mr. Yakki. What abt Miss Lala??? And Zaki and Tini in Malay Textbooks?
Ash: Used to wonder why all characters have the same name....

28. We carry out experiments of our own to get ourselves badges for being a Young Zoologist/Botanist etc.
Ash: Never ever completed one successfully.... Mum complained that I only know how to buy the cards and waste her money.

29. Every Children's day and National day you either get pins or pens with 'Happy Children's Day 1993' or dumb files with 'Happy National Day 1994'.

30. In Primary six you had to play buddy for the younger kids like big sister and brother. 31. We wear BM2000, BATA, or Pallas shoes.
Ash: Mine... was Panda Brand...

32. Your form teacher taught you Maths, Science and English.

33. The worksheets were made of brown rough paper of poor quality.

34. You went to school in slippers and a raincoat when it rained, and you find a dry spot in the school to sit down, dry your feet, and wear your dry and warm socks and shoes.

35. School dismissal time was normally around 1 pm.

36. There would be spelling tests and mental sums to do almost every day.

37. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if your parents gave you $3 or more for pocket money every day.

38. You see Wee Kim Wee's face in the school hall.

39. You freak out when the teacher tells you to line up according to height and hold hands with the corresponding boy or girl.

40. Boys like to catch fighting spiders.

41. Collecting and battling erasers was a pastime for boys.
Ash: HEY~ For girls too! Or rather... I did battle with ‘Lubber’ and made a boy cried by winning 10 of his precious ones... Muahahahaha

42. Autograph books were loaded with "Best Wishes", "Forget Me Not", and small poems like "Bird fly high, hard catch. Friend like you, hard to forget".
Ash: ‘Roses are red, Pens are blue and my friend is you’ *Cringe~

43. Class monitors and prefects loved to say "You talk somemore, I write your name ah!"
Ash: HURHURhurhur... Although I was a prefect, my name appeared on blackboard for numerous times.

44. There were at least 40 people in one class.

45. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.
Ash: It was a World inside for us, man....

50. You brought every single book to school, even though there was one thing called the timetable.
Ash: HAhahaaa... That’s what large schoolbag for~!! And all kids walked like old men with hunchbacks!

Listen up~

A new star is born.



James Morrison

Gosh… I love his husky, sexy voice... He’s really a best combination of James Blunt and Bobby Flynn (Australia Idol finalist).

A unique, sultry voice crooning about love... and got me severely addicted to ‘Wonderful World’, ‘The pieces don’t fit anymore’ and ‘You give me something’. Guess I will be buying his ‘Undiscovered’ Album soon...
Cos Someone said it’s unethical to download songs from the web…


Thou Shalt be a Moral woman for James then…

12 Angry Men

One very certain but unforeseen addiction that I will like to admit…Excessive TV-watching~
Even in face of tight assignment deadlines… I am doomed for sure!

But… the movie that I just watched was really worth the precious time, I knew it, for sure.

12 angry men (1997; an adaption of the 1957 classic)
The synopsis :
‘A Puerto Rican youth is on trial for murder, accused of stabbing his father to death. The twelve jurors retire to the jury room, having been admonished that the defendant is innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. Eleven of the jurors vote for conviction, each for reasons of his own. The sole holdout is Juror #8 who felt that a verdict cannot be reached without much discussion and clearing his ‘reasonable doubts’
(from http://movies2.nytimes.com)’.

If you thought that the most dramatic court battles can only be observed in the courtroom, this movie will make you consider twice.
If you wanted an insight on how a panel of jurors’ come to a verdict on case, this movie can take you through the strenuous and emotional journey to seek a clear picture.

2 words: Awesomely excellent!!

It makes me wonder why Singapore never telecast such a classic- something that was more intelligent and reflective than the irritating repeated showings of the Shanghai Noon or Crocodile Dundee. Come on, Singaporeans ain’t bimbotic… we can take to movies that reeks of wisdom and true reality- couldn’t we?

I never thought I will enjoyed a movie that consisted of only 12 actors in 1 main scene setting- a small jury meeting room. And I sat through, on the edge of my sofa, for the 117minutes. It was thoroughly suspenseful and evoked you to process self-reflective thoughts throughout the movie.

This movie reflects sharply the nature of men. Our distinctive personalities, unique processes of judgments and different self-motivation are mainly derived from our journey in life- what have we been through, what have we done, and the people surrounding our life.

Too many times, we jumped to conclusions without a second thought. In this movie, it demonstrates clearly; how this can result a death of a possibly innocent teenage; just because 11 men concluded his guiltiness, superficially based on the surface of evidences presented and most importantly, their experiences in life.

I came to a conclusion about what the movies lack of nowadays:
1) Film dialogues that were so powerfully significant and made you hang on to every sentence that was said.
2) World-class acting skills that were so convincing and compelling; which brought the audiences to places without having to go there themselves. All masterfully done in a tiny meeting room.

There were no pretty faces in the movie. No high-tech special effects. No humongous budget spent on the film. Yet, it was one of the best films I have ever watched.

Not convinced? See it for yourself

Bom Bali

Chiam’s eyes remained glued to the TV; while I was trying hard to hold back the tears, but to no success.

A Muslim man was narrating about his heroic story in the tragedy, with such a melancholy expression. Tears started to well in his eyes… and he cried. It was incredibly heart-breaking to see an old man crying so bitterly for someone he was not acquainted with- at all.

Bom Bali

As he expressed his shame and anger in terrorists’ actions, I couldn’t help but wonder about the real meaning in religion existence. Are they supposed to unite- or divide? Religion followers- should they go through the suitability test before converting their beliefs first? So that we can determine whether they are humane people with sane thinking and will not interpret holy teachings with an extreme, disastrous understanding.

Bom Bali was a filmed documentary, in commemoration of Australians victims in the Bali terrorist calamity. Chiam and I didn’t mean to watch it but we did.

And we were deeply affected. So much so that Chiam broke down in the privacy of her room after the show. And so did I.

I guess both of us shared the same sentiments.
How fragile life can be.
How life isn’t just about us.
And how intensely it hurts to know your loved ones suffering… because you’re gone.

I know this is kinda inappropriate or even crazy sounding but I wish to make this known… or rather, set a little will, here on my blog.

If ever I perished in a disastrous tragedy, please… please do not go through the hassle of identifying and retrieving my body.

Cos I can’t bear the thought of my family or friends having to endure the nightmare of checking each and every gruesome dead bodies. This ordeal is much, much horrifying than death itself. I see no sense in tormenting you further, when grieving has already caused so much pain and agony.

If I survived, I will definitely make it home, no matter what.
But if I did not, please just let that useless piece of me be wherever it is. It really does not matter at all.

It’s only the memories that matter and that’s for eternity = )

That dear old man

Boy... Am I getting over-emotional or what..?

My eyes were fixed on the TV while making dinner. It was a sitcom, for Pete’s sake… and my eyes started stinging when the scene zoomed into an old couple in a restaurant.

A kind-looking old man asked his wife to look at something in a distant, as she faced the direction he has pointed, he quickly placed a red rose in an empty vase on their table. The old lady turned back and discovered the sweet rose… has that most beautiful smile on her face as she reached out for her old fellow for a hug.

I have no idea why it affected me so much… that sweet touch of romance? The companionship that stays beyond old age? Or maybe it’s the fact that an old lady got herself a rose where I don’t even get a stem at all?

Whenever I saw an old couple on the streets, hands in hands, a smile will spread across my face. How rare, I wonder aloud to my friends, that they still remember the romance ritual of holding hands, despite all those eventful decades.

My parents aren’t exactly the ‘hold hands’ type. My dad‘s most obvious affection displays are those little comments about her new hairstyle and her cooking. I have never seen him buying anything for her- well, to be fair… he doesn’t even buy stuff for himself. I think the only transactions he has with merchants… happen within 3km vicinity and the purchases usually consist of coffee, food, newspaper and of course, his sidekick- Consulate.

I guess the ability to show affections openly is something that our older generation lacks. Whenever Dad pretend to kiss Mom in front of us, she will be squealing with disgust, struggling and pushing him away… where I know there’s a genuine laugh behind all the wrestling. We usually watch in delight- like observing the lion and his lioness having a playful game of courtship.

Boy… I miss home…

Perhaps, when we are old, when career, wealth and success no longer matter as much and all we need to have, to pass the remaining days of our life, is a little companion by our side.
Someone who knew exactly what you have been through, he will laugh along with you on those silly little mistakes that both of you have made in those younger days.
He will squeeze your hands tightly when you reminisce about the loved ones you lost along those years.
You two will share a secret smile when you see a young couple making out in their car, thinking about those days when your sexual desires were so intense~ ah… those naughty escapades…

I am all out to experience life, in all best ways I know of, with all the courage I possess. Ask me how my life is. I can reply in an instant~ It is excellent.
It flows the way it should. The way I will it to be. It may not be smooth at times but I survived the storms and rode out to the sun.

But there were times when I sat down crestfallen, disillusioned by life’s treacheries and callousness; I will wish for that old trusty companion by my side then. Cos if he is here with me, I will no longer need to keep the tears to myself.

And he will tease me with a twinkle in his kind old eyes:-
“Silly girl, you know that nothing really matters in the end. It’s just Life, our dear old friend. And you have me... right till the end of the journey…”

Happy Bangala Day

It was supposed be a fun night out.

It was housemate, Zack’s birthday celebration at Conrad Jupiter Hotel where he has invited his friends and people staying in Metro (Name of my student accommodation) for a wild night out.
And it turned out to be a dreary nightmare.

Zack, an avid drinker, in another word, a hardcore alcoholic drank more than he can handle and was pretty intoxicated before the party actually got started. And there he was, standing in front of the bar, welcoming his guests like an over-excited bridegroom. Giving loads of kisses and hugs to every girl, including Chiam and I- the roomies… which made him went....

“OH… My roommates!!!!! So glad to see you here!!”

Cos the fact he was getting a tad too touchy with us, plus the constant spraying of his saliva, all over our faces and necks, we (Chiam, Tammy and I) were glad that he left us alone to wet other guests’ attires with his saliva and his drink in that unstable hand.

The nightmare began when his friend told us that he was arrested for punching someone. We were in disbelief. For some reasons, we were worried for him and began to search around for him (but, as a matter of fact, I was more eager to get to the Casino to try my luck).
After losing $15 in a record time of 5min, we headed back to the bar, only to find Zack pleading with the bouncers to let him in. Those bulky guys firmly rejected him, and Zack, in his utterly dejected expression, turned and limped tiredly away…

Fate had it that we were to witness that pitiful scene. Fate willed us to feel sorry for him. And we became his caretakers- which pissed the hell out of me, thinking about it now.
It was a fight… with his friends and girlfriend. Apparently one of the idiots told Zack’s girlfriend and her friend that if they wanted a free drink- kiss his ass. He didn’t really mean it- but the girls already made their way to his butt.

Which Zack saw it.
Which he threw a punch at that guy and a friend that was trying to stop the fight.
Which he pushed and took a swing at his girlfriend.

All along when he was telling his side of story, he was sobbing terribly and telling us how much he loved her. The next moment, he was throwing violent fits, calling her all sorts of names in vulgarities.

When we finally put him in the cab with Chiam and a couple, Tammy and I took the next one, wishing that we can reached Metro faster than him. Cos a very idiotic, act-clever friend of Zack gave us the impression that Zack’s girlfriend had went back to her place with that guy in scandal. It was of course, far from truth. The sleazy rendezvous was only playing over in that fucking drunkard’s mind. The girlfriend was avoiding him… in disappointment and fear.

In the cab, Zack kept threatening to kill her and the guy, over and over again. And my dear Chiam informed him that if he wanted to kill anyone, he will have to kill all of us first.

In which, he replied: “Yeah , you will be the first one I will kill.”

When I called Chiam to check if everything is ok in the cab, she was laughing as she told me about it in Mandarin and it led me to think that he was sobering up and cracking jokes. She summed up in a grave tone: “No, Ash. He was serious.”

So... when he was back at home, kicked the furniture, sobbed uncontrollably the next moment, threw a chair at us then cried again like a baby , exhausting and scared the hell out of us.

One word:

LOSER

I mean myself.

Why the heck did I realize soooo late that the more attention we gave him, the more he will do to invoke more reaction from us?

And why the hell am I doing in Australia, with those kids, those juveniles? Why do I have to go through these again? His so called best friends were nowhere in sight to help us with their drunk friend. Our male neighbors walked away despite our pleas to control that lunatic. I was outright pissed.

With everything and everyone.

The best thing was, he could carry on the whole saga from 10pm till 6am. I wouldn’t elaborate the details. It was just pure sickening madness.

I feel deeply for his girlfriend.

Walk away, girl. You deserve someone better. Not a woman batterer and alcohol abuser like him. Not an over-possessive prick like him.

The Story goes

The Gold Coast Show 2006

Where... horse racing, rodeo, carnival and cutural performance took place....

Where.. the locals love to get into tourists' pictures...

Where... I met my Prince Charming...

And won a Dog, in replacement of Vodka...

Where.... I wished someone could hold my dainty hand, that drizzling rain and whisper that sweetest words under the stunning display of fireworks....





BLaaAHZ~!!
Whatever~~!

Story goes on

Surfer Paradise

The Coy Looks.. where the Man..... well... just did the Man thing... Beer~








It was official. And self-declared... I AM THE SWEETEST GOOSBERRY ever....















What blue lights and space can do to you...


















And she thinks that she is weightless

Story Goes on and on

Brisbane





The Story Bridge













Sigh... Can't really stop her from stripping, can I?














Eating out at a Hunan Restaurant...













Coy Looks part II









Food is here... Auntie Chiam starts her cleaning duties diligently...













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Exposed

Note: I have been meaning to write about the yet another crazy escapade of the Trio. As it had been a crazy and overwhelming period for me over in Aussie… So.. Finally here… the joy of humiliating the guys and self...
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It was Saturday night where the Trio gathered to meet for the last time, before Girl ventured into Gold Coast, far away from them. What Girl wanted was a nice cozy evening with them. After all, she had prepared a thank-you speech for the both of them, which definitely will go well with a bottle of wine and jazzy ambience. But the Guys had another kind of evening in mind.

WILD. CRAZY. DANCE. GIRLS. ZOUK

Because of the lousy fact that Girl will need to pay for the cover charge while the Guys could just waved their credit cardies and walked in free, Girl made them promise to buy her drinks~ after all, she was not going to drink much. She needs to be up early the next morning.
So, right in Velvet, as Baldie snapped away with his brand new camera, causing quite a nuisance to the others clubbers but an enjoyment for the narcissistic trio, Whitie was busy thinking of strategies to get Baldie and Girl drunk. He got clever with the Citibank promotion of 1 for 1 and proceeded to order 2 Lamborghinis which multiplied… And very soon they were surrounded with 2 jugs of Long Island teas (courtesy of Baldie), 2 cranberries Vodka (courtesy of Girl’s cover charge) and 4 Lamborghinis (courtesy of Whitie) on a tiny 20 inches bar table.

After a few swaying moments on the dance floor, Whitie decided to check out Zouk’s VIP area for access. As he walked out of Velvet, Girl found Baldie not as sober as she was…. He was at his sexy dance moves again… and could hardly stand properly.

When White rang Baldie up to gather their asses to the Zouk ‘s VIP lounge, Baldie shouted at the top of his voice into his phone and poor Whitie’s ears repeatedly… “WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT? WHAT? WHERE?? WHEEEEEREEEEEE ARE YOU??”

Girl instinctively snatched his phone, grabbed him by his hands and the remaining jug of the Tea and headed for the exit. As they bypassed the Velvet VIP area, Baldie pulled back Girl and pointed, staggering backwards: “I think he is in here!”
“No, he is not.”
“YES. Yes! YESSSS! He said he’s in the members lounge… THIS IS THE ONEEEEEEE!!”

Girl frantically scanned the room and found no signs of Whitie. As she tried to juggle a freezing cold jug, a heavy and bouncy Baldie and a damn user-unfriendly phone on her hands, she literally yelled into the phone for help.

When Whitie came back into Velvet, he found Girl, looking exhausted, sitting on the sofa, clutching onto the jug tightly, while Baldie was prancing around her merrily. Without a word, he joined Baldie in his strange ritual dance around Girl.
After forcing Girl to finish most of the Tea, the Trio proceeded to Zouk. This time, Girl found herself with two deliriously tipsy friends now. She laughed at them- which was deeply regretted in the end as she was ordered to down another Lamborghini while the two big drunk bullies cheered her on. They forbade the waitress to get Girl’s request for a slice of lemon to suck on. But Girl confided in the waitress about the importance of her keeping sober as her friends were very drunk now. The waitress gave a sympathetic nod and passed slices of lemon to Girl secretly.

As the trio got onto the dance floor and gyrating to the music, they edged nearer and nearer to the podium. Baldie, as drunk as he was, did not forget his camera and camera lights started flashing away as they danced.

Soon, the Guys felt the strong need to be elevated~ literally~, climbed onto the podium and dance. And in a bid to pull Girl up as well, Baldie accidently shoved a fellow female dancer down from the podium, onto the floor.

Audible grasps were heard, as the people around froze and watched the fallen angel got up, sat on the podium, hiding her face behind hands and not moving for a minute. Guilt-ridden Baldie asked if she was alright. She did not react as well. Baldie shrugged his shoulders and the Trio continued their dance and photo-snapping, taking the place of the fallen angel.

Not before long, Girl found herself incredibly excited. Her strong liver could not resist the effects of the damn Lamborghini. The alcohol was gaining control of her while the Guys started to sober up. And there, she was, tears welling up in her eyes, holding onto them and began her planned speech. But not in way she wanted.

Alcohol seemed to make it alright to repeat herself when she felt that whatever and how she expressed herself- didn’t give the intended impact. And thus, Girl went all tearfully to Baldie how he was going to be missed. How worried she was about him. How important he was to her. And to Whitie on how great a friend he was. How sorry she was to bicker with him always. How she promised to treat him better. The Guys rolled their eyes at each other when holding to Girl, patting her assuredly and told her she will see them again. Very soon. They will be coming over to Australia. 1 and a half year is short.

Then Girl felt nauseous… and pulled the guys to the toilet- where they spent a good time, sitting outside the toilet, waiting for her to stop coming in and out of toilet. And they met this weird man. Who said that it was his birthday and his friends were celebrating for him. But he preferred to sit outside toilet and wait for god known what. Weirdo passed his name card to Baldie, which Whitie took it without a glance and threw it on the floor.

Girl started to get hysterical with her crying. Losing control should be more precise. She wasn’t like that- ever. Alcohol weakened her. The Guys were embarrassed to the core but they couldn’t bring themselves to slap that silly Girl to senses and the moment she declared she wanted to get out of the disgusting place- they practically yanked her out, gladly.

She did not remember throwing tantrums about not wanting to go home. But the guys insisted she was almost begging them not to go home. And in an instance of 10 seconds walk from Zouk, they made up their minds to stay over at Grand Copthorne Hotel as they couldn’t stand dragging the drunken chicken around, any longer.

Apparently the Guys were still slightly tipsy. An awkward few minutes were spent in the hotel lift- trying to figure out why were they still on the lobby level, after pressing the button for the tenth time. Baldie finally realized in nick of time, before the hotel staff strode across the lobby to check on them, that they need to insert the key card into the lift slot.

The moment they got into the room, Baldie headed right towards to one of the single beds, pulled up the blanket and instructed Girl to lie in. But Girl said no. She wanted to bath. The Guys looked at each other in puzzlement, shrugged their shoulders and went on preparing themselves for bedtime.

Feeling another wave of vomit charging out, Girl ran to the toilet and remained hugging the toilet bowl for a good 8 minutes. The Guys then took turns to leap over Girl to brush their teeth, totally ignored the retching noises from her.

“I want bathrobe!” Girl demanded.
“But there isn’t any in the closet.” Baldie replied.
“I don’t care. I want bathrobe!!!” Girl stomped.

Whitie had no choice but to call and check with almost all the departments in the Hotel in search of a Bathrobe, as in his drunken state, he couldn’t determine which department was in charge of bathrobe.

When Girl had stripped naked to get ready for shower, the housekeeping came with the Bathrobe. Baldie knocked on the bathroom door, wanting to pass the Robe to her. Girl couldn’t recall if in her stupor drunken state, did she remember her modesty as Baldie refused to tell her frankly- whether she flung the door right open, exposing herself or hide behind the door. Whitie claimed that Girl paraded around the room in her birthday suit after her shower. Well, Girl couldn’t really remember much as her brains were thoroughly soaked with alcohol. She passed out on her bed and slept till morning….

When she woke up with a murderous headache, Girl found herself in a Bathrobe and nothing else. She started searching for her clothes and lingerie and found none. She paused and tried to recall where she could have thrown her clothes. Then a thought came to her- Could it be… in the closet? Indeed, even in her drunken state, she did not failed to forget that clothes were supposed to be kept in closet. However, it was not as neatly as it should be. She had balled and casted them in the corner. While washing up her face, she realized that she had used a shower cap last night to keep her hair dry.

“Woah… How amazing…” and she looked at the neat collection of toiletries on the sink and cursed silently, “Shit… I didn’t bath with any soap or body foam last night… but just wet myself…? Damn. How odd!"

When she walked back to room, the Guys were awake. And from then, there wasn’t a moment of silence as each of the Trio was fighting to tell the most embarrassing episodes of last night. As Girl scanned through Baldie’s captures of last night’s misadventure, she flinched at the sights of her ~ all intoxicated and wobbly. A couple of pictures caught her breath… She had kissed Baldie. Whitie had hugged her tightly. And admitted that he pecked her on the cheek too, in an attempt to comfort her.

And they all have a good laugh. It was one of the craziest funs they ever had. The Trio had long surpassed that physical border of opposite sex.

Cos they are lifelong buddies. Who they cared for each other like a true friend.

Cos they are Ashley, Ethan and Gerard. = )







Love you guys!!!

You said: “Do not worry.”

Sis just smsed that Mum cut herself badly…. The top of the thumb was sliced off.

I froze for a long moment… as if trying to register what was that simple message of 12 words meant.
Mum is bleeding. Mum is in pain. Mum must be crying. She is not alright.

And I cried. Sobbing uncontrollably into my pillows.

How can I not be worried? How can I be somewhere so far away- where I couldn’t reach out and touch her?

Am I too worrisome? Think it’s damn right to do so.

Am I a filial daughter? Fuck. No.

Affirmations

It is almost humiliating to be motivated by a mere stranger. And I will be a total sucker if I believe her relentlessly.

But I really wish I can.

In a not so magical ambience, I have my fortune forecasted in a little tent, over the 9 tarot cards and palms lines, discounting the presence of a electrifying crystal ball, with the clairvoyant straining to make herself heard over the noises from the bar beside us.

According to her, my life is perfect. Everything gonna just happened for me within these few months. Period.

How easier it seemed, to make my life in Gold Coast easier… and much optimistically? Not that I am having a tough time here… just like what some of you have envied… a dishwasher, clothes dyer, gym and pool facilities, Chiam’s huge ‘limousine’ that’s always oil-thirsty and easy access to the beaches… I am basically leading a lavish and sheltered lifestyle, at the slow pace of the host country. It’s too relaxing for me…. I fretted at doing nothing…. Ended up performing major cleaning for my room twice a week, buying plants to look after and shopping till my wallet bled.

Nice little life... But I can’t help but wonder.. Where are all these leading to?

Here am I, in a life without my constant companions (and darling Vodka). Waiting impatiently to see what’s gonna compensate the sacrifices in this land of promises. I saw none.. and felt terribly disheartened. I refrained from thinking or even saying out loud that I missed home. I don’t wish to acknowledge it at all cos it dampened my fighting spirit that is trying hard to keep afloat in this foreign land.

The truth is- there is a very fine line between adjusting and struggling. We all have struggled to adjust- and it’s sure not an easy ride. One moment you thought you are doing pretty fine.. and the next, reality crashed down on you, making your world so alien and uncaring. And I struggled. Putting up a fight so that I can adjust to the reality.

Maybe that is why overseas romances are so common. You need someone. He needs someone. And *Bang! Just like that, you guys find each other an essential floater in the rough sea.

Last night, it was a slow, tough one. I miserably fought the urge to call him for solace. Under no circumstances, I should be doing that. So, I remained struggling alone, in the cold, soundless night.

Should I take what the clairvoyant predicted as a source of driving force… so that I can get a grip and head on for the promising future? Will that be so naïve of me?

What if I let go? Will things take its nature path and turn out better than ever? The latter seems flawed… as we have been taught to be a go-getter. But perhaps that’s how fate takes its turn and heads towards you.

(Thanks, Lynn.. for that little pep talk)

Musing

A decade ago, when ‘She’s my Steady’, being spotted with a sharp comb at your back pocket and Sonia Rykel quilt-lookalike bags were still in raging trend, I tasted my first fleeting love with a notorious ah beng who played his guitar at the basketball court, with a ciggie tucked at the corner of his mouth.

Then, followed by an Ah beng-wannabe boyfriend who got my pager numbers from God knows who. It was a rocket relationship - literally~ After 2 days of talking over the phone, he asked me to be his Steady and I agreed.

The next day, we had our 1st date~ which I remembered that rush of blood up my veins, that excitement. I didn’t stop to think about my own silly actions~ Meeting a stranger, my supposed boyfriend for the ever 1st time? Obviously, taking time to love someone was not top on the list for a 16 years old teenage girl..

Cos all she wanted was to take any possible chance to attain the pleasure of being loved.

It started swift and ended fast. I broke up with him the next day with the universal excuse ‘we are not suitable for each other’. The truth was- I was terrified of his pimply face, that awful moment when he tried to give me a goodbye peck and the fact that he was utterly possessive- he got into staring war with a boy who bumped into me, accidently.

This was not the only silly thing I have done in the course of my teenage years. Well, like what my dear old friends will said~ 'Not surprisingly, with that impulsive character you have!"
Many other disastrous affairs followed after~ even to a certain extent of immorality - which was best left unsaid.

When we were a bunch of impressionable teenagers, there were endless sessions, talking about the Boys and 'oh, my heart break' tales. And we have agreed that only the Man can give you that ultimate L.O.V.E. Friends were good as listening ears, girly companionship and bitching partners. Family was only there to control and chide you. Never, could they show you the way to the most sacred, holiest Love.

What an inane thinking… Feel like kicking my own ass...

So here am I sitting here, reflecting about Love. Do we need a partner for it?

Here in Gold Coast, I found a new side of me… which I never knew exists (And words don't explain exactly how I feel).

And being away from the home environment gives me the space to think. It seemed that when you stood far away enough, you will be able to see things with such clarity.

Ironical it may sound- Everything looks so wholesome and beautiful. I felt my family’s love more than ever. Vodka looks increasingly huggable beautiful. Gerald seems less annoying with that occasional sweet smses; Ethan’s warm and caring side shines more brightly than ever; Vinz’s ability to brighten my day is unbelievable amazing; Dan seems much composed and understanding; Lynn has been so patient with my rambling about Aussie life..... etc…

We can safely concluded that family and friends are the most reliable source of love that you can find, in the whole wide world.

So.. with all the love I can get.. who need a full-time boyfriend?

Deplorably, the mindset of 'Everyone need their soulmate' was cultivated far from the history~ it was so deeply impregnable.... that I can't help but feel a sense of emptiness within.
And just like a little girl on a Christmas eve, I can't wait to take a peek at the future Him...

Oh.. FYI: My life with dearest roomie, Wenting has been great. We are practically a pair of Lesbos twin terrors of the 'mEOw’… ~Muahahahahaha

GC Journal II

GC Journal I

1) Aussie men like to walk about in short, short shorts and their boots. Steve Irwin look-alikes everywhere

2) Skinny Aussie men like to hold onto lard… the ’twice their size’
girlfriends.

3) Everyone and Anyone on the streets are so polite and friendly. Clearly, they need no courtesy campaign like Singaporeans and Malaysians.

4) Services Services Services…. The bus drivers, bank tellers, school administrators, shopkeepers… Gosh… They attend to enquiries with full attention on ya… (not pressurized by the long long queue behind)

5) Which also explain… the perception of Slow and Lazy Australians.. (Well, they just like to take things slow and steady.. Hmmm, I wonder about their sex motto...)

6) The night market over at Surfer Paradise isn’t homogeneous… Thanks god..

7) The food portions served in food outlets and restaurants can feed Two Me.

8) Discounted supermarket sell fashionable clothes too.. Will it be a deadly fashion mistake to shop there..? Oh Heck... Who cares??

9) There is a weird stench wafting to my nose, from my housemate’s room. I just pray hard that it is not from any dead bodies…

To be cond’t….

P.s: Pssst... GC stand for Gold Coast.. Dumbsters...

The place where Winter hides

It’s cold in here.
And I like it here, I wouldn’t lie.

For the past few days, I led my new life in numbness and a dreamlike manner. Everyday just happened like it should. And all I have to do, is to follow like I should. I didn’t feel excited. Nor sad. I couldn’t understand why was that so. FYI: My tears didn’t flood the airport during my send-off . Actually... Not quite I have expected. I guess all the negative and forlorn feelings have been discussed over and over with my friends beforehand, and somehow, I have been properly prepped for the emotional, wild ride.
(Thanks for listening, Az, Ethan, Gerald, Vinz, Ally and many other dear friends… )

Ally said that I will feel miserable once I reached Australia and it’s good if I can let it out in one loud, non-restraining cry. Again, I didn’t.

The only people that managed to sting my eyes with streams of tears are Ethan and Gerald. Especially Ethan. I never knew how much I meant to him… till I read his blog. All the while, in Singapore, he had been encouraging me to proceed and stay strong with the Aussie planning. I have thought that he had taken my leaving a tad too easy. He didn’t even tell me that he will miss me at the airport- where that heartless Gerald had sms me early in the morning that he will.

Who know.... For my departure gift, he compiled a photo album for me. Decked out with moments of the trio.. Something that I never expected. And a message that didn’t fail to get me crying every time I read it.

Thank you so much for everything. Please come and visit me soon. I won’t make you sleep on the floor- we can share the bed.. Just like in Hongkong. Remember that teeny bed? Gerald can sleep on the floor instead. : )

It is not that I don’t miss my family or friends like the Uberduperians etc. I am just waiting for homesickness to hit me. Maybe... that explained the numbness? That I am waiting to be terribly homesick as severely warned by many?

Looking at my family through the webcam warmed my heart. Seeing Vodka's eyes pricked when i yelled her name, made me laugh. I miss them. But not exactly aching, pining for. Maybe just not yet....

Settling in down with the accommodation was easy. Unpacking and arranging the furniture the way I like it… was satisfying. I have never had a room to myself. This is a new sensation of freedom for me. My housemate is a male Bangladeshi from America. (yeah.. Never expected huh?) I started to appreciate the advice that Azmi gave me about staying with a guy. (ok..you win this time…)

However, it was pretty chaotic with the school. Transportation wasn’t easy and cheap from home to school. And they kept getting my Chinese name wrong. Rectification have been done twice and it is still wrong!

Nevertheless, I have settled down pretty well. Made numerous new friends. So you guys need not to worry about me. And for those who promised to come down for the Sunny Beaches and the Sweetiee Me… you better save up now…

When I am gone

EDD: 16JUL ETD: 2125 DEST: BNE

I am going
Really going
And the thought frightens me

I feel like staying put
I wish I didn’t have to go
I wish I had taken up Imagine’s job offer
And continue a normal life like I always did

I wish I didn’t have to go all the way to a foreign land
And start the whole process of making new friends
There isn’t gonna be another Lynn Xie to say hi on the 1st day of school
To mark fantastic beginning of my Poly life

I will not be able to squabble and play rough with my sis
Fight with my bro for PC anymore
Or listen to my parents’ chatters about anything, everything
And hug Vodka for comfort when I am down.

I thought I would be strong
But tears fell on the keyboard as I typed
I know I am stepping into a new life
And I am gonna be fine with the girls by my side

This isn’t just about my hang-ups about the new stage
I am fretting about the things I have to leave for it
The people I have treasured and loved
The family who have sacrificed for me
The friends that have stood by me
The company I will die for to stay in

I hope the change worth them all
A silly wish it is
But I want time to stand still in Singapore
And nothing will change
At all

I do not have a god in my heart
But I am praying now
That everyone I loved will be safe in the good hands of God
When I am gone

The story of smart parents and a sickening dog

A chewed white lollipop stick. On my bed.

I threw it away in the wastepaper basket in my room. The next day, it appeared again- On my bed.

Made the effort to throw it in the dustbin in the kitchen and it made a miraculous appearance on my bed after 2 days.

I glared at Vodka ~ who seemed to sense it, gazed up dreamily from her sleep.
I rounded her up and thrust the offending stick into her view.
“Where did you get this from? Tell me! Tell me!”

With a big, lazy yawn, Vodka turned on her back and exposed that big fat belly for some stroking and petting. I rolled my eyes in defeat and began to stroke her while baffling over the mystery. Where did the stick come from. Who brought a lollipop back? Why does Vodka love to chew on it so freaking much?

This time, I decided to dispose it down the rubbish chute- once and for all.

One week later, that eerie Thing manifested on my bedroom floor, taunting me ~
"Yoooo hooo… I’m back!”

Apart from pulling my hair out, I remembered flinging it hastily out of the window, while pondering over the rationality of me under a spell. Someone is… spying on me with that Thing! I am haunted!
Haa! Now, try flying back to me now!
- - - - - -
Needless to say, just like in the horror movies, when one thought she was safe from the monster, it usually came back in full force for her.

This time, after 2 weeks, it made its appearance with its partner.
TWO. White. Chewed. Sticks. On. My. Bed.

This is no longer mystery for a junior to solve. I needed urgent back up.

‘This. Have been appearing on my bed for months. I really need you guys to tell me what it is. Now.”

My parents looked up quizzically from their newspapers, then to that Thing on the table.

Mom stifled a laugh while Dad examined that Thing under his large glasses. Then they looked at each other for a moment before Dad said in a most, as a matter of fact tone:
“This must be a cotton bud stick.”
“What?!”
“Vodka must have going through the rubbish bins for these cotton buds and chewed off the ends. On your bed, that is.” Mom hurriedly offered her invaluable input.
“You mean… those cotton buds that we use to clean our ears…? Those soiled ones?”
“Yeah.” Dad folded his arms in satisfaction.

Our eyes fell on that disgusting culprit that was lying by our feet, furiously licking her belly; totally oblivious of the trouble she was in now.

VODKAAAA!!!

Past

There he was.
Looking exactly the same since the day he left me clutching my chest, withholding the terrible pain within.

This wasn’t what I wanted for this much-anticipated encounter. At least not in an unflattering Motorola Jersey and haggard, oily face, haggling over the phone with my supplier while looking very much lost in Raffles City ~trying to find my way to the bus stop.

Call me pathetic but at least I am bold enough to admit that I wanted him to see me in a radiant glow with a confident stride across his path. Sending the message of ‘I’m doing great, superb, uber excellent without you- in my life.’

I am not being hung up on him. Definitely not.
Hell it is so Not.

For some reasons, when I turned and faced the greatest disappointment of my life, there was a phony smile plastered on my face, irritation clouded with disgust filled my head. As we struggled to make polite niceties, I can’t help but wonder how could I even allow this guy break me down? How could I even allow myself to be pleasant to a guy who had betrayed our relationship and claimed that he was actually leaving me for the God?

It was only then, realization dawn upon me.
I have been despising him. And I have yet to forgive him.

Is it okay for me to remain loathing someone who hurt me deeply; yet his leaving turned out to be one of the best things that can ever happened to me?

Cos without him by my side, I have flew higher and shone brighter than ever.
I have the fortune of experiencing the sweetest and generous love that Az had showered me with.
I explored the world without a worry.
And I was released from his unsettling problems, which have suffocated me for 2 years.
And I learnt that most awful things that happened, they are here for a reason and it usually turns into our favor ultimately.

I guess you might be thinking that~ Ash, in that case, you should open your heart and accept him as a friend again.

Nah, I can’t. It is too tiring and mentally straining to forgive. Keeping him out of my sight and life is much easier.

Not DEAD

Please be informed that this Blog is not vacated nor deserted.
Will resume operations after work dedications for CommunicAsia from 20th June to 23rd June 2006 are over.

Vodka

I thought you were going to leave us last night

You are brave. You did not flinch or whimpered a sound at all during the surgery. I knew it hurt. I have cried out for you. Only then, you broke free from my hands that were restraining you in place and looked up at me~ as if quizzing: “ What’s wrong? I’m fine.”

I have hugged you tightly and sent little pleas with tears to whoever was listening, up there. You were bleeding non-stop. Please make it stop. I could feel your body going weak and limp. Please. Please stand up again. It was not the time for you to go. Not yet. Just not the time~ yet.

You were miserable, walking lopsided to the infected ear with that huge bandage. You tried to get it off when no one was looking. I have to bandage you again and again till late in the night and once the bandage was taken off, you shook yourself vigorously, covering me with blood. But…. anything for you.

I have feared for that painful day of grief; when you were truly gone. And that’s a future date- Just not now.

Please get well soon.

To Hell and Back

It seemed to be decades that I am finally back in Singapore. In one piece. War battered and scarred. These few days, I have been throwing my arms wildly around and banging tables to create a dramatic impact while relating to mates about my traumatic experiences in Kuala Lumpur- thus I will not elaborate much about the worst nightmare I ever have here.

Just don’t get me started.

I was not cruising around in KL... I was sloughing my guts and breath out for work over there. The local operator has planned an Amazing Race for the 300 delegates from China in KL. But seriously, the ‘planning’ have only been on his lips and flimsy and totally useless papers. There was nothing like what was communicated- on the Race day, the game marshals have no inkling about their roles and where they supposed to be stationed.

When things went haywire, my heart seemed to be complaining bitterly about the tremendous stress I have inflicted on it, my stomach started churning- nothing, as there was simply no time for breakfast and lunch – not even a toilet break.

I tried my best to salvage the Race… but at 3rd stage of the game, we abandoned the entire Race as the marshals were nowhere in sight, everything was madly out of control and delegates were protesting with all their might.

And all the time I have to act, to the confused delegates that EVERYTHING WAS SO GODAMNED FINE. THE COMPLICATIONS WERE EXACTLY AS PLANNED.

I am amazed. I survived it. All.

I wonder whichever was worst- 1) you screwed up your event with own negligence or 2) someone failed to perform his part causing you to endure stern scolding from clients- where you can’t possibly tell them that IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

I have thought tears will be lurking around at the back of my eyes…. Trying to break in whenever there is a chance. But, apparently I’m so freaking busy, trying to cope with the crisis on hand~ Ms Brain actually formed a sturdy wall to prevent tears from flooding into my eyes.

After the crisis, I saw the man who failed his promise, duty and trust. I could no longer bring myself to say anything. He kept silent too; as if beseeching a confrontation from me.
Not that I have damned sixth sense- but there was already bad premonition about the Race before it even get started- but it have been my wrong ‘character’ judgment that persuaded me to trust this ‘experienced’ Race planner.

Mich and Ben wondered aloud that they were impressed about the way I handled the grumbling, rude Chinese delegates- that I can bring myself to pacify them when they were bombarding me with loud protests and complaints. Well, my attitude astonished myself too. I seemed to be a totally different person- can almost see that patient self pacifying the group as a third person.

Maybe it was the way I see it- it’s understandable they were unhappy and angry. It was the organisers’ fault that things turned out to be a disaster- even though it was something beyond our control. We are supposed to bring them enjoyable memories for this incentive trip and I felt terribly guilty that things turned out this way too.

It was only after this trip, I truly appreciated how mistakes and problems helped me to grow. How do I react in face of impending crisis, how do I deal with pressure and stress….. Nightmarish experiences it may be, but it sure pump up my passion for events management. I just love it, those ups and downs………….!

However, on a last note, the most ultimate moral of this tale:
Don’t ever trust someone so completely

PEK

Great shopping experience (Good quality at low price)
A Makansutra Heaven... (FOooood!)
Cleaner streets with almost non-existent spit (Olympics is coming... )
Friendlier locals (Yeah.. Olympics is definitely coming...)


Just like what Celine, a french from my group said:
"I will love to be back in Beijing someday.... "

Well, hell yeah... I just to be back in any country I have been to...

It's all, All about Life

Pulau Tioman

Clear blue sky, sparkling sea and soft fine beach

MTV in making


Gerald's virgin snorkelling trip.
It's a smashing Underwater Kingdom ~ took our breath away...

Fairies by the bubbling waterfall

The amount of food we ate, can feed an army.....











Shed...
Tears of mad laughter that best mates brought
Silent tears for the captured little shark
Blood for brushing against the corals in course of swimming
Sweat in weird attempts to keep fit by the balcony


Yes, we'll definitely be back..

Those little things I done

*Shrieks
A giant elephant came charging at me… in one effortless snatch, its trunk wrapped tightly around my bunch of banana and sugarcanes.
And there was I. Wrestling with that burly robber, protecting my 20 Baht elephant feed.
Of course, I was no match for it. Standing there in astonishment, I could do nothing but to watch that bully chomping down the entire bunch of banana; followed by the sugarcanes that seemed to 'flow' right down its throat.

In view of all excited tourists that were watching the drama between the tiny, wide-eyed Asian and that gigantic beast, the robber gave a polite thank you bow and turned to join its mates.

It was great fun. After 3 days of tension and stress, I finally got to wander around in Chiang Mai for 1 day, all by myself. This tour managing business was totally new to me- hardly a breather of time for me to grasp things fully. But just like what Ethan said- get thrown into water and you will learn how to swim faster. Won’t said that I have done a fantastic job but I know that I will the next time.

I learnt a great deal during this journey and from my colleague, Asiah.. She had pushed me beyond to certain limits that I have not ventured before. 4 days with her have made me realise what I can accomplish more. She can form her own fan club at any time, any place with anyone. The passengers adored her. To them, she’s the fun factor in Chiang Mai beside the shopping trips and delicious local fares. She’s not that easy to work with as, being a perfectionist, you will expect everything to go according to your whims and deadline.

Asiah and me with the local tour guides, Peo and John

I can’t say that I love travelling alone that much- but it sure gave you another kinda experience that you will not enjoy with your travelling mates. That freedom to do whatever you please, that sense of accomplishment when you found your way to the designated attraction and that in-depth understanding about people (locals and foreigners)~ I guess when you are alone, people tend to open up more freely to you.

If you have thought that I am a social animal, this is not entirely true. I always just have been friendly- and there’s a fine line between social and friendly. I don’t strike causal conversations with strangers but I guess I do now, after a day alone in Chiang Mai.

My delightful English companion on this 1hr elephant ride, Paul (who got a tad too excited when we spotted a bright turquoise lizard..)


Elephants that draw better than me.... Insulting..

Chiang Mai is quite an appealing alternative from Bangkok. If you think that BKK’s shopping is fabulous, you may change your mind after a day spends in the Sunday Market and Night Bazaar. The hawkers there are friendlier, goods are cheaper and of better quality. (But of course, good bargaining skills are still a necessity~ I bought a painting with original price of 550 Baht at 100 Baht).

The Sunday Market
Do you know that everyday at 8am and 6pm, Thailand national anthem will be broadcast in the public and all movements are to be stopped? You will see everyone on their feet, froze for 2 minutes. And yes, it includes the road traffic as well. Imagine our amazement when everyone on the Night Market street stood to attention. Wish I can get a shot but don't wanna risk being stoned....



The gigantic bed that I slept on, during my last night in Chiang Mai...








That comes with a strange key....(have no idea what to make of this heavy key handle? A weapon? A puzzle piece to be fit in the room? Or as a welcome gesture- dildo for guests?)

Chiang Mai is definitely a great place for people who want best of the two worlds~ shopping spree and beautiful nature tourism. Let me know if you wish to go there soon.... cos I’ll be right there with you!

Meanwhile, Tioman.. here I come!!